The “On the Lam” Blog Begins…

I’m going to kick off this thread by telling you something not many people know about me.  I have tried three different churches in the 12 years since I left my full-time minister/parish work and moved my family back to Ohio to start my CE software ministry.  Each of these three church experiences taught me things, nourished me in many ways, but also highlighted some real problems in the way churches operate.

During these past 12 years “on the lam” I have often told people that I thought God wanted to teach me something about the church. And that he has… about the church, and about myself.

This blog thread is meant to share my experiences and observations about ”being on the lam.”  I’ve been chuckling about the double-entendre here. “Lam” and “Lamb.”  “Lam” is the Norse word for “thrashing” …and is etymologically related to the word “lame.”  Another funny double entendre for sure. Thrashing is also etymologically related to “threshing” …the process of separating the wheat from the chaff.  This blog could have easily been titled, ”Separating the Wheat from the Chaff.”

I’m fully aware that when a person points the finger, it is best to begin with yourself. Moving from “trained minister on a staff of an excellent church” – to “volunteer and quasi-member in three not-as-excellent churches” has been challenging.  If you’re a parent, you can relate. Watching your kids make the same mistakes you and I once made is painful. It’s even more painful when those kids are adults, or church staff, or an entire congregation.  There have been numerous occasions where I wanted to speak up, but felt my “not on staff and not technically a member” status meant I should stay quiet.

As time passed, however, I’ve increasingly become less willing to sit on the sidelines and shut up.

For better or worse, I changed over the years. Somewhere in the late 90’s I lost my ability to hide my incredulity.

When you’re on the church’s payroll, you learn to be somewhat politically correct. You learn not to speak the truth in love about the senior pastor or certain volunteer leaders because you then have to deal with the fall out. And when you’re in the pews, you also don’t want to be a complainer or overstep your place.  And quite frankly, volunteers who complain or have ”inconvenient truths,” get marginalized.

In some ways, being a minister-in-the-pew is a little bit like being Dorothy. While some parishoners treat the minister like they’re “The Great and Powerful Oz,” -I’m not afraid of pulling the curtain, in part, because I’ve been back there.  Or to change the metaphor…  as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten less afraid of tugging on Superman’s cape, and more convinced it needs to be done!  (Without a doubt, pastors have enormous power in the church, and many don’t use it for real change, or don’t know what to do with it, or don’t think they have it.)

And as time has gone by, I have also lost my patience with certain things “about” the church, -things I used to ignore, or didn’t think were that important. We all get frustrated now and then. But what has bothered me the MOST is the number of EASY THINGS which churches aren’t getting right. Slam dunk things, like having a real ministry to visitors, church accounting, and a standard of quality when it comes to communications.  You’ll see these subjects tackled in this blog.

To me the perfect church is NOT one that doesn’t make mistakes. Rather, the perfect church is one identifies and confesses it’s important weaknesses, and then tries to overcome them with more than just words and excuses.

It is my hope that this “On the Lam” blog will share enough truth to help your church and ministry KEEP people from changing their address. Finding a church home isn’t easy, and being “on the lam” sucks. To the extent I may sound bitter, I apologize. I really do hope my story can help yours.

<>< Neil, 2008